Gee I loved being a kid. Living for the moment, laughing for the sheer joy of doing so, letting my imagination run wild, not trying to be someone I wasn't, saying "yes I can do that" to everything I wanted to try, even if I wasn't any good at it. I didn't have to worry about getting a job, a relationship, or pay off a mortgage. Nor did I realize that, while I was playing, I was also learning all the basics of life - how to talk, read, write, make my arms, legs and eyes work together, play by the rules that my friends and I made up on the spot and - best of all - negotiation skills, learned by convincing my parents to buy sweets and toys. Problems were resolved by a motherly kiss or going without dessert. Those were the days my friend, I thought they'd never end.
But they did.
Life became serious. Parents, friends and teachers carefully taught me what I had to do to succeed in the harsh world of reality. Having fun became a waste of time that could be much more usefully put into earning serious money. I was told to forget silly kid stuff, like jumping, drawing, singing, acting and doing roly-polies down a grassy hill. Instead, look around at what the adults are doing… copy them…don't be different or people will think you're dumb. Get a real job. Become a doctor, lawyer, teacher, engineer - anything that makes people look at you in awe.
So I did.
I started taking courses I didn't want to do. I did degrees that were going to take me somewhere, but got me nowhere. I started getting assessed - for the right school, right friends, right sport, right university, right job, right partner…the right path to whatever other people told me would take me down that glorious road to success, fulfillment and happiness. And no, I didn't always get chosen. I often wasn't good enough, qualified enough, wealthy enough, talented enough, dressed well enough, intelligent enough, or trained enough.
Then I started to see the light.
What I was getting enough of was stressed, pressured, changed, controlled, confused, uncertain and misguided. The one life I had was slipping by fast. I was reaching each of "the big 0's" faster and faster. Finally I hit the big 6-0 - when bosses tell you: "you're too old to work anymore. Go find a nice pasture. Book into God's waiting room where you can pass the time until you die".
That's when I exploded.
"Enough is enough is enough!!!" It's time for me to be me - the me I always wanted to be when I was a child. It hit me that life in my 60's had much in common with life in my childhood. I didn't have to worry about a job (though I could work if I wanted to), or a mortgage (it was under control) or even a relationship (I was happily married). I could do anything I felt like doing - even if I wasn't any good at it. I could become a kid again. And this time it could be even better. I now had the benefit of a lifetime of experiences - good and bad - and even a little money on which to build my childhood dreams, skills, fun, interests and plans.
So I have become a kid again.
I am free to do as I please, when I want, with whom I want, for as long as I wish and at the pace I like. I don't have to be good at what I do. I just lose myself in the joy of the moment, laughing for the sheer pleasure of doing so, letting my imagination run wild, being the me I always wanted to be. I love it. I am learning, growing and blossoming into a truly successful person. I now know happiness is the journey, not the end and life is what you make of it, right this minute.
You wanna come out and play?
When you 'lose' yourself in an interest you love, you 'find' yourself. Passion unlocks potential - at work, home and play. Visit my website at www.workleisure.com
Friday, February 29, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
Welcome to work around the clock
One of the many unanticipated consequences of globalisation is that increasing numbers of people are working to a global schedule It means that people are working in different time zones and geographies, almost as a matter of course. (Weekend Australian Feb 16-17 2008).
This is a dramatic example of how life is now a 24/7 continuum with no clear distinction between work and personal life. Many of the people in these global jobs work from home which makes the distinction even more blurred.
It's also a good example of how people who love their job - as the various people interviewed in this article indicated - can allow the risk of burnout to go unnoticed until things go wrong. Bill Withers of Perth is quoted in the article as saying that "people can keep working to international hours only if their employers allow them some flexibility. You've got to make sure people have a life outside of business. I've been the President of the local footy club for 3 years".
I see my business as helping people to recognize the potential problems of today's 24/7 lifestyle and ensure that they get a life outside of work now, not when the health or relationship starts to crack. You wouldn't wait until you have a money problem before you develop a financial plan. Don't wait til you have a lifestyle problem before you plan to find what I call an "interest break" - a non-work interest that you enjoy so much that you forget your work and other problems for a while. Personal interests that you enjoy creating in your own time are not just fun, they could save your life.
This is a dramatic example of how life is now a 24/7 continuum with no clear distinction between work and personal life. Many of the people in these global jobs work from home which makes the distinction even more blurred.
It's also a good example of how people who love their job - as the various people interviewed in this article indicated - can allow the risk of burnout to go unnoticed until things go wrong. Bill Withers of Perth is quoted in the article as saying that "people can keep working to international hours only if their employers allow them some flexibility. You've got to make sure people have a life outside of business. I've been the President of the local footy club for 3 years".
I see my business as helping people to recognize the potential problems of today's 24/7 lifestyle and ensure that they get a life outside of work now, not when the health or relationship starts to crack. You wouldn't wait until you have a money problem before you develop a financial plan. Don't wait til you have a lifestyle problem before you plan to find what I call an "interest break" - a non-work interest that you enjoy so much that you forget your work and other problems for a while. Personal interests that you enjoy creating in your own time are not just fun, they could save your life.
Friday, February 8, 2008
Real enjoyment is a state of flow
You know that lovely feeling when you are so lost in an activity that time and space seem to stand still? I have been listening to a tape by a man with an unpronouncable name - Mihaly Csikszentmihalyl - on the subject of Flow. His explanation shows a clear connection between the feeling of enjoyment and the feeling of a state of flow. His views and mine have so much in common that I would love to meet and chat with him - once I can properly pronounce his name!
I often speak of the ripple effect of enjoyment flowing through into all aspects of life. Mihaly speaks of 8 characteristics of flow - a clear sense of achieving moment to moment goals, experiencing challenges that reasonably match your skills, being totally focused on the task at hand, having your mind relieved of all else around you for the time being, forgetting problems, experiencing a sense of spontaneous energy and experiencing a positive form of escape from reality. In my professional opinion, these sort of characteristics of flow are the characteristics of deep enjoyment experiences that trigger the ripple effect of enhancing all aspects of one's life. The outcomes are in the form of increased self esteem, self confidence, self belief and increased sense of self worth. They are feelings that don't go away the moment the enjoyable experience (state of flow) comes to an end. They flow on for an inestimable time, indeed for life.
When you think about it, the ripple effect that I speak of is, in fact, a process of heightened self esteem flowing through all aspects of life. I shall be adding this sort of thinking to my workshops, speaking and writings (with due acknowledgement to Mihaly).
I often speak of the ripple effect of enjoyment flowing through into all aspects of life. Mihaly speaks of 8 characteristics of flow - a clear sense of achieving moment to moment goals, experiencing challenges that reasonably match your skills, being totally focused on the task at hand, having your mind relieved of all else around you for the time being, forgetting problems, experiencing a sense of spontaneous energy and experiencing a positive form of escape from reality. In my professional opinion, these sort of characteristics of flow are the characteristics of deep enjoyment experiences that trigger the ripple effect of enhancing all aspects of one's life. The outcomes are in the form of increased self esteem, self confidence, self belief and increased sense of self worth. They are feelings that don't go away the moment the enjoyable experience (state of flow) comes to an end. They flow on for an inestimable time, indeed for life.
When you think about it, the ripple effect that I speak of is, in fact, a process of heightened self esteem flowing through all aspects of life. I shall be adding this sort of thinking to my workshops, speaking and writings (with due acknowledgement to Mihaly).
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